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Bog Standard

Restroom comedy has long been the safe haven for daily publications, and writers stay alert to significant toilet tales and milestones, especially in relation to football. What a delight it was to find out that an online journalist Adrian Chiles possesses a urinal decorated with West Brom motifs within his residence. Consider the situation for the Barnsley fan who interpreted the restroom somewhat too seriously, and needed rescuing from the vacant Barnsley ground following dozing off in the toilet midway through a 2015 losing match by Fleetwood. “He had no shoes on and had lost his mobile phone and his headwear,” explained a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And nobody can overlook at the pinnacle of his career playing for City, the Italian striker entered a community college for toilet purposes during 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, before entering and requesting directions to the restrooms, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” a pupil informed local Manchester media. “Subsequently he wandered around the college grounds as if he owned it.”

The Toilet Resignation

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century from when Kevin Keegan quit from the England national team post a quick discussion within a restroom stall with FA director David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback versus Germany during 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the famous old stadium. According to Davies' personal account, his confidential FA records, he entered the drenched struggling national team changing area directly following the fixture, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams energized, both players begging for the official to reason with Keegan. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies found him slumped – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – within the changing area's edge, saying quietly: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies worked frantically to save the circumstance.

“Where on earth could we find for a private conversation?” remembered Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The bathing section? I couldn't conduct an important discussion with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Merely one possibility emerged. The lavatory booths. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history happened in the old toilets of an arena marked for removal. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I secured the door behind us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I'm unable to energize the team. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Results

And so, Keegan resigned, later admitting that he had found his period as Three Lions boss “empty”. The two-time European Footballer of the Year stated: “I struggled to occupy my time. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It’s a very difficult job.” The English game has progressed significantly in the quarter of a century since. Regardless of improvement or decline, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are long gone, while a German now sits in the dugout where Keegan once perched. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: National team followers, value this time. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Current Reports

Join Luke McLaughlin at 8pm BST for Women's major tournament coverage regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Quote of the Day

“We stood there in a lengthy line, clad merely in our briefs. We were the continent's finest referees, premier athletes, inspirations, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with strong principles … however all remained silent. We hardly glanced at one another, our looks wavered slightly nervously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina examined us thoroughly with an ice-cold gaze. Quiet and watchful” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures match officials were formerly exposed to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Soccer Mailbag

“How important is a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss named ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to oversee the primary team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles.

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and provided some branded items, I've chosen to type and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the schoolyard with youngsters he expected would overpower him. This masochistic tendency must account for his option to move to Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the second tier and that would be a significant battle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|